Wetsuits suck

Wow.. I remember reading this article on SwimBikeMom about a year or so ago, but man... I had no idea how accurate every bit of that was.  Goat and I had tried on wetsuits back in the fall, and each purchased the same one (twinsies!), and yes, the try on session alone was a struggle.  Two of us in a small hot bathroom with zero experience putting these things on... and lots of interested commentary.  Anyhoo, after a nasty winter, we are finally getting some decent weather and were prepared to test these babies.

We had a nice 36 mile ride that morning, crossing over the lake several times... where you could see the pollen scumming up the water, and blowing across the road in clouds.  Ugh!  This same lake is the one we came back to that evening to test our suits.

Getting them on was surprisingly not hard (not easy, but not hard).  I'd met a lady at the pool recently who suggested turning the whole thing inside out, then just rolling it on, and that worked like a champ!  Suited up, we entered the water.  Whoo!  That mess was COLD! The strangest part was when the water started to seep through the zipper, and you could feel it trickling down your crack.. because that's where it goes first.  It's like peeing in the pool in reverse, with a cold spot that gradually spreads!   The moment of truth.  I started with a breast stroke just to see how the suit felt and then I put my face in that very cold pollen soup.  ARGH!.  So cold!  The suit does a nice job of insulating you, but the shock of the cold water on the face is going to take some getting used to.  The combination of that plus the pressure from the suit took a lot to get past!  I don't know why, but it seems really hard to exhale when your face is cold.  And when you don't exhale, it's hard to get a fresh INHALE.

I think the pollen soup further complicated things.. or that combined with the cold.. I just got really snotty and congested.  As you might imagine, that makes it hard to breathe!  Through a sad, slow combination of breast stroke, backstroke, and some floating and treading water, we got about 200 yards out before I'd had enough. Fortunately, Goat didn't put up a fight!  There was maybe a 25 yard stretch where I managed to calm myself down and settle into a bit of a groove before freaking out again.  The swim back was against the current, too, so it looked like I wasn't making any progress, and that combined with being tired, breathing too hard but not enough nearly did me in!  I was never so happy to put my feet on firm ground.

One of the super nice guys who was kayaking alongside us suggested vasoline on the face to help insulate against the cold.  I've already signed up for the Beach to Battleship, so by hook or by crook, I need to figure this out!  My plan is vasoline plus my snorkel.. I figure if I can just float and force myself into a calm breathing pattern, then I can add in "real" breathing.  Baby steps..

What I've learned about winter riding

Let me start off by saying that I pretty much hate winter.  I think Madeline Khan summed it up best..." it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths...".  Those are my feelings about winter.  Unfortunately, I hate the stationary bike almost as much, so this winter I've learned how to suck it up and ride in the cold.
The real key here is wind proofing.  I can handle running in some pretty chilly temps, but rolling through arctic breezes at 20 mph is a whole different ballgame!

1. Essentials - bootie covers (not the one in the rear).  Two pairs of Smartwool socks were not enough to insulate my little tootsies against bitter winter air seeping into my shoes.  A pair of decent booties did, however.  Not optional!  Find a pair on sale, they don't have to be fancy, just wind proof.
2. Essentials - Good gloves.  Again, it's all about the wind proofing.  Knit gloves are NOT going to do the trick.  Layers aren't great either, because you lose a little bit of control on the gears / brakes.  Get some decent cycling gloves.  Bonus, they are grippy where they need to be, and have a soft panel along the thumb that's perfect for wiping boogies.
3. Needed, but you have some flexibility - windbreaker.  This does not have to be cycling-specific, but you do need one.  Also, consider layers.  You don't need a heavy insulated jacket, just one that blocks the wind, and you can throw on some base layers beneath.
4. Cycling pants.  These suckers are not cheap - score some on sale if you can.  If not, wear your cycling shorts / capris and throw a pair of long running tights over them.  Some companies make knee covers...kinda like extensions for your shorts.  They typically don't go all the way down, though.  Go all the way down. (TWSS)
5. For your noggin, a beanie or very thin headband like a Bondi band.   You can also use one of those little earmuffs deals that wrap around the back of your head.  Whatever you do, cover those ears....they will get COLD.
6. A face cover or balaclava is a good choice, too, but don't pull it up too high on your nose.  Unless you get one of those neat face masks with the little holes in front of the mouth, your breath is likely to travel right up you face and fog the heck out of your glasses.  Seeing is fairly important.

So that's about it.  Oh, and I don't plan to ride outside once it drops below 30.  Or is super windy.  Or rains or snows.  Other than that, bring it, Winter!

Race Report - Tuna Run

We did it!  200.9 miles with our new bestest friends!  Here's the good and the bad (you take 'em both and there you have.. the facts of relay running).

The Good

• Did not die!
• No vomiting from our team - which is an accomplishment, because dude, it got hot!  Many teams kept track of their "kills" on their vans, one team started a vomit count. 
• No bear sightings this year!  In fact, the night runs did not feel anywhere near as creepy this time as they did last year.  Not sure if we were just used to it, or it was the clear weather.  We'll take it either way!
• DINNER!  Hours-cold pizza is not exactly foodie heaven, but at 2 in the morning, it'll do the trick.
  
• No rain.
• We did overlap van transitions for the first leg (Van 2 showed up 1 leg before the big transition, and Van 1 stuck around 1 leg after), and it was nice to hang with each other a bit more.
• We bought collision insurance on the vans, and the guy told me, "you could run this into a ditch, bring it back, and you'll just need to sign some paperwork".  I took that to heart.  Keep reading...
• Cheap Bait is semi-officially the Most Congenial Team.. we even got them to say it as we crossed the finish line! (ok, we totally just asked them to do that, but ask around, people will vouch for us).
• We got all the tags!  It was a rare vehicle that wasn't driving around with a "CB" on it.  DoorKicker even tagged another RUNNER!
  
• Pancakes. And Sausage.  And chocolate milk.  'nuf said.

The Bad

• The rental company called THE MORNING BEFORE and said, "soooo.. we're overbooked on these 15 passenger vans.. can we give you 2 small ones and 1 big one?".  HECK NO!  I had to call around to other companies to find a matching pair (Triangle RentACar totally saved the day!).  Woe unto those who deny me my Big Girl.
• We drove right past the campgrounds after our 2nd legs.  We had to backtrack, and were quite pooped when we found it.  Should've watched the mileage closer.
• At the campsite, there was order-ahead dinner waiting.. pizza and ...subs.  With meat and cheese.  Sitting out for a few hours.  Draw your own conclusions here.  Somebody who shall remain nameless had a sub, and ended up talking to the cornstalks during Leg 3.
• Here's a tip for future relay-ers.. make sure that people in your van don't all use the same mobile provider.  I woke up after a scant hour or two of sleep to see Sara sitting upright in the tent whispering many profanities.  She'd moved her phone just enough to pick up a flurry of messages that had been waiting for her to move back in range.. telling us that Van 2 was AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.  We threw everything in the van and took off like we stole it.  I had the first leg, and had to dress on the way!  (we made it)
• Those subs came back to haunt *someone* during their run.  At one point, we'd pulled over to cheer, and were asked, "is there a bathroom anywhere nearby?".  I looked about 20 yards down the road and suggested the cornfield.  What I'm sure felt like a few pounds lighter, our runner practically bounced on down the road!
• Leg 3 (as always, for everyone) was tough.  DoorKicker had the 2nd to last leg (Sara's least favorite from last year), and was struggling with a serious douche grade.  We pulled over a bit more to offer moral support.. and DROVE IT INTO THE DITCH.  I could not believe it!  AND, AAA does not cover these behemoths under normal coverage, they're considered RV class.  Fortunately, some pierced and ponytailed angel came to our rescue, pulled us out with the tow cable he had lying around in his vehicle, and would not take a dollar for his trouble.  Beware of soft shoulders that look even, but really aren't.  Bring a 2x4, and some tow rope.
  
  
  
• The next day was also HOT, and the closer you get to the beach, the less shade there is.  We passed alot of other teams running WITHOUT WATER (I know, crazy!).  We started pulling over to cheer for folks, and handing bottles of water to other teams.  In hindsight, we really should have also brought some ice, it would have been great to soak some shop towels in ice water and draped them around our necks.
• Someone tagged Bruce. (you can see it on his fin).  While initially shocked, we all had to admire the moxie of the person who stealthily climbed our van to tag him (while we stuffed our faces with pancakes).
• 

Drama, part The Second

So what happens DURING the race?  What do you need to know if you are signing up for one of these wacky events?

1. The morning of will be a mad scramble.  Everyone is going to bring more crap than you thought they would, and you're going to have to cram it all into that van, AND get to the start on time.  Plan for extra time, and make sure everyone knows who's bringing a foam roller so that there aren't 6 of them rolling around in the van.
2. It will not be just like you planned.  I don't care how many Twofer Tuesdays you've been doing, there's a big difference when you sit in a van for 6 hours, and then run an 8 mile leg by yourself.. in the dark.  Accept that you can't totally prepare yourself for this.
3. The night run will be creepy.  It's dark out there.  If you can find someone on another team with a similar pace, ask if they mind if you run with them.  They'll probably be grateful!  It will also help pass the time, since there's no real sense of it when you're running into a funnel of light in the middle of nowhere.
4. Not all drivers are nice.  The course will not be closed.  Run against traffic, and be prepared to jump off to the side if needed.  Did you read about what someone did at the Ironman Chattanooga?  Some people are just dicks.. be ready for it.
5. You will hit the wall.. especially if you don't watch what you eat.  Don't nosh on bars and Gus the whole time, eat some real damned food.  Even if you do, there's a good chance you may just mentally be ready to check out by the time you get to your third leg.  I still remember the text from somebody last year - "need Nuun and Bodyglide.".  We turned the van around, provided the requested supplies, and paced our runner in to finish up!  It's hard.
6. The finale is a little... anti-climatic.  Especially if you are in Van 1.. you get there, but you don't actually get to cross the finish line yet.  You hang out, do whatever, cheer on the other Van, and wait for the last runner before you cross the finish line as a team.  Kinda weird to get to the party and then wait.

What you won't know about a relay.. until you sign up.

Part of the impetus to start this blog was to share tips with people who've never done a relay.  We've shared the helpful stuff.. how to pack, what to eat.  That's nice, right?  Now here's the underside of the relay world.. the darker facts that no websites will list in their FAQs. 

There will be pre-race drama

1. Finding people and getting them to commit.  Not only do you have to find 12 people crazy enough to do this, you have to get them to commit.  Poor Captain!  They need to sign up (and pay) early enough to get a good rate, and then figure out how much everyone owes, and get them all to pay up!  If you don't have the full 12 yet, then that cost sits there on your credit card until you find them all! 
2. Keeping up with changes - you can bet money that someone's gonna bail!  We lost 1 person to bigger goals, someone got pregnant (on purpose, and you can't really be mad about that!), and a near-injury scare!  So not only might you have to quickly re-figure the leg assignments, you need to decide how to handle refunds!  Have some backups ready, and discuss up front under what terms people will get their money back.
3. Leg assignments - and even if you keep all 12, someone's not going to like their legs!  Or their van.  Be upfront about how long you'll need to run.  If everyone ran the same length, it's an average of 17 miles a person.  If you have a van full of people who've run a half marathon at most.. they will run more than that!  Not only that, but you're almost always going to have one or two people who simply can't, and you'll want to balance that with your longer-distance runners. Aaaannnd.. the legs are all different lengths.. it's however long it is between transition points.  Some are 3 miles, some are 9 miles - at night!  There's a lot of sucking it up.. don't sugar-coat it, let people know what they're in for!
4. Because of leg iniquities, you can't have all of your strong runners in the same van.  You can probably accommodate some buddies, but folks are gonna have to go where they need to go! Make everyone friends with regular group runs leading up to the race.  We started doing "Twofer Tuesdays" (credit: Melissa B), doing a run in the morning, then another in the evening, followed by dinner at a local eatery.  Good practice for back to back running and good team building!

Next up... race drama!  What to expect during your adventure!

What to expect when you're expecting... to run a lot.

Here are your legs

Just kidding...Kelly V will be creating "The Bibles", which are hardcopy notebooks that each Van Cap'n will receive.  These Bibles will contain your legs (assignments.. not actual body parts), tattoos with your directions*, and other good stuff.  In the meanwhile, for those of you can't wait that long, here's the lowdown on how things are gonna go down!

6:00am - Bright and Ugly!  Kelly V(aka "Trooper" or "The BookKeeper") will lead us off at the start line.  Our journey begins at Lake Benson Park in Garner.  Van 2, be there to cheer us off, then go carb up before your legs!

Van 1 is orange, Van 2 is yellow.  Also, times are approx, Van Cap'ns should keep their phones handy so that they can text one another as we approach one of the spots where we meet.  The idea was that we could overlap slightly so that we didn't feel like two separate teams running the same race.

Leg	From	To	Distance	Runner
EVERYONE at the start line! (no start line, no cowbell)
Leg #1	Lake Benson Park	Juniper Level Baptist Church	5.53	Runner 4 Kelly
Leg #2	Juniper Level Baptist Church	Mt. Pleasant Presbyterian Church	5.69	Runner 2 Melissa
Leg #3	Mt. Pleasant Presbyterian Church	White Memorial Presbyterian Church	3.45	Runner 6 Terry
Leg #4	White Memorial Presbyterian Church	Piney Grove Chapel Baptist Church	5.61	Runner 5 Shawn
Leg #5	Piney Grove Chapel Baptist Church	Elevation United Methodist Church	9.08	Runner 1 Sara
Van 2 joins the party - holla! (approx 10:50am)
Leg #6	Elevation United Methodist Church	Four Oaks Civitan	6.88	Runner 3 Caryn
Leg #7	Four Oaks Civitan	Unity Advent Christian Church	8.07	Runner 7 Bradley
Van 1 departs in search of carbs...(approx 1:15pm)
Leg #8	Unity Advent Christian Church	Stone's Creek Advent Christian	4.82	Runner 11 Mara
Leg #9	Stone's Creek Advent Christian	New Zealand PFWB Church	5.4	Runner 8 Colleen
Leg #10	New Zealand PFWB Church	Bentonville Battlefield Historical Association	4.3	Runner 12 Judy
Leg #11	Bentonville Battlefield Historical Association	Selah Christian Church	6.61	Runner 9 Maureen
Van 1 rejoins, fully re-carbed! (approx 4:45pm)
Leg #12	Selah Christian Church	Eureka Christian Church	3.69	Runner 10 Lisa
Leg #13	Eureka Christian Church	Smith Chapel United Methodist Church	7.42	Runner 1 Sara
Van 2 bugs out - time to refuel! (approx. 6:45pm)
Leg #14	Smith Chapel United Methodist Church	Daughtrey Field	4.71	Runner 2 Melissa
Leg #15	Daughtrey Field	St. Luke Missionary Baptist Church/Union Church	6.06	Runner 4 Kelly
Leg #16	St. Luke Missionary Baptist Church/Union Church	Snow Hill Original Free Will Baptist Church	9.32	Runner 3 Caryn
Leg #17	Snow Hill Original Free Will Baptist Church	BF Grady Elementary School	4.1	Runner 5 Shawn
Van 2 is back, baby! (approx 10:45pm)
Leg #18	BF Grady Elementary School	Pink Hill Elementary School	6.33	Runner 6 Terry
Leg #19	Pink Hill Elementary School	Bethel Baptist Church	7.46	Runner 10 Lisa
Van 1 jets - off to Trent River to camp, and get some pie! (approx. 12:45 in the dogggone morning)
Leg #20	Bethel Baptist Church	Pleasant Hill Christian Church	4.18	Runner 8 Colleen
Leg #21	Pleasant Hill Christian Church	Tuckahoe Christian Church	5.61	Runner 9 Maureen
Leg #22	Tuckahoe Christian Church	Comfort Elementary School	3.64	Runner 7 Bradley
Leg #23	Comfort Elementary School	Trent River Campground	4.34	Runner 12 Judy
Van 1 rejoins Van 2 to cheer them on! (approx. 3:40 in the doggone morning!)
Leg #24	Trent River Campground	Jones County Government Complex	6.42	Runner 11 Mara
Leg #25	Jones County Government Complex	Jones Senior High School	3.33	Runner 3 Caryn
Van 2 returns to Trent River to hit the sack! (or to Midway to wait out the hotcakes) approx 5:20am
Leg #26	Jones Senior High School	Free Will Chapel Church	3.63	Runner 2 Melissa
Leg #27	Free Will Chapel Church	First Baptist Church of Maysville	8.68	Runner 6 Terry
Leg #28	First Baptist Church of Maysville	Onslow County Soccer Association	5.36	Runner 4 Kelly
Leg #29	Onslow County Soccer Association	Silverdale Elementary School	6.51	Runner 5 Shawn
Van 2 jumps back into the game, to cheer on Van 1's final leg before they start theirs! (approx. 9:12am)
Leg #30	Silverdale Elementary School	Midway United Methodist Church	2.6	Runner 1 Sara
Leg #31	Midway United Methodist Church	Crystal Coast Assembly of God	8.41	Runner 10 Lisa
Van 1 returns to Midway UMC for the best damned hotcakes and sausages.. evah! (approx. 10:50am)
Leg #32	Crystal Coast Assembly of God	Western Regional Beach Access	4.94	Runner 8 Colleen
Leg #33	Western Regional Beach Access	Emerald Isle Boat Landing	3.11	Runner 11 Mara
Leg #34	Emerald Isle Boat Landing	Salter Path Regional Beach Access	7.28	Runner 12 Judy
Leg #35	Salter Path Regional Beach Access	Iron Steamer Beach Access	3	Runner 9 Maureen
Leg #36	Iron Steamer Beach Access	The Circle Beach Access	5.3	Runner 7 Bradley
Everyone meets at the end of the boardwalk (wear your Cheap Bait shirt!), and we run across the finish line together! Should be around 2:30 - 2:45pm

Other stuff - in your Bible, there will be little temporary tattoos for each leg.  It includes the name of the leg, the points, and each turn along with the distance to each turn (or they did last year).  There will also be Tuna Run signs along the route, but some jerk might yank one out, and you'd better know where the heck you're going, so wear the tattoo.  FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS.. we messed a few up last year (duh!).

Countdown - 2 Weeks to Tuna!

Are you ready to run?  By now we've picked vans, assigned legs, and are in the final push to get ready.  Here's what you need to think about in the next 2 weeks

At least the week of, start to taper back your workouts so that you're fresh for the run.  That first leg will feel fine, it will be fun!  The second leg... eh.  Not too bad, but you'll feel it.  That third leg is gonna suck out loud.  So be ready and rested!

Order your food!  This year you can order dinner (!), a campsite and showed (for realz!) and you cannot miss the hotcakes and sausage breakfast on Saturday.  Order and pay in advance!

Van Cap'ns, make sure you have the following figured out with your van-mates:

• Two reflective vests for the night runs - this is mandatory
• Headlamps (everyone may want their own, but if you're gonna share, you'd better have 2 or more)
• Blinky lights - match 'em up with the vests
• Race belts (if you have 'em).. we get bibs, but if you have a race belt, it's easier to pass off rather than pinning on (totally optional, pin them on if you want).
• Food and water - figure out who's bringing what.  See the "what to pack" post if you need help.

Make sure that you spoke to Sara if you want a hotel room.. if not, you'll be spending a 2nd night in the van (which might feel like home by then!).

These 2 weeks are gonna go fast!